December 2010 - May 2012

Good Bye Everyone. It’s been a wonderful experience, but I think I’m finished. 

Thanks for the comments and the posts I’ve read. A few will always make me laugh.

Good Luck,

Vanessa

When I eat a sandwich at home I cut off the crusts. 

This is why I don’t eat sandwiches at work.

Today I was craving a pb&j…so I’ll eat the crust on one half and pretend I’m full before I eat the other half.

Everyone over the age of,I don’t know 15, should be eating the crusts, but now that I’m ADULT I don’t have to. So I don’t.

I thought it was just my cat! He will stand at the bowl and meow, and meow and meow. I give the bowl a shake, and suddenly it’s fine.

Even when there’s only a tiny bit of food, this still works…

Even though I know better, I still wonder what will happen if I pick the RIGHT one.

They tower over the grass, determined to catch attention and the wind. Across the street from this (my outside eating spot) is a perfectly manicured soccer field.

I find the fields of white and green beautiful. My mother would find it painful “I’m closing my eyes, tell me when it’s safe to look.” There’s something for everyone.

I was in the break room eating on my break.

Maybe I forgot I wasn’t at home? That I wasn’t alone?

I licked the tinfoil lid.

Everyone stared at me.

I thought everyone did this, ok maybe not at work…but do other people throw it away? It seems like a sad waste.

Thoughts?

Big Sister reminds me so much of my sister.

Me Too is like me and I worry about her.

She’s two years old and she still sleeps through the night so irregularly that my sister makes an announcement when she does. Insomnia might be in her future. 

Big Sister is an extrovert. Me Too is an introvert, and she sometimes gets lost in her sister’s shadow.

She’s quiet and can easily entertain herself…she might not get as much attention as Big Sister if it looks like she doesn’t need it.

She won’t like you right away, but that only makes it more special when she does. I *wish* I could go around saying “Me no like you”.

Big Sister gives out hugs like Halloween candy. Me Too’s are like lucky pennies rare and worth looking for.

Big Sister’s smiles are like sunshine…there everyday to make everything seem brighter.

Me Too’s smiles are like rainbows…smaller, slower, and more rare, but oh so special when you see one.

Big sister is easy to love. I’m going to work harder with Me Too. For both of us.

While I was waiting for everyone to settle in before storytime a mother said “Harper, come here I need to wipe your nose.”

I love To Kill a Mocking Bird; so I ask the mother is she named after the writer…more to find out why she likes the book so much.

Mom: Who’s Harper Lee?

<cringe on the inside>

Me: She’s an author of To Kill A Mocking Bird.

Mom: I don’t like old movies so I only watched a bit.

I was asking for it, but it still hurts.

Me Too is using the cord from the laptop.

I’m using a banana.

We make plans to get together later in the afternoon. She calls Big Sister to the phone.

No understanding the game, Big Sister peels and starts eating the banana.

Me Too: NO EAT PHONE.

This is funny…I’ve never had an inside joke with Me Too.

Me Too doesn’t have a phone to eat, so we have small powdered donuts.

A man a approaches the desk, there is less than one hour of work on what will be called “The Most Beautiful Day of 2012.” His face doesn’t say…”A trip to the beach is a FANTASTIC idea!”

Man: My card is stuck in the checkout machine.

<We walk over to the machine in question. I look at the machine. I look at him.>

Me: That slot is for library cards only. You have put in a car key.

Man: When it got stuck I tried to pry it loose.

Me: Is you key stuck as well?

Man: Obviously or I’d take my keys and go, and come by for the library card next week.

Me: This is a very unfortunate situation. Come with me and we’ll write an incident report.

Man: You’re right! What if my key gets bent?

His key get bent? Dude, if you want to think that FINE BY ME! Of course, now we have your name, phone number and library card number to contact you about possible damages cost.

I get the key out. It looks fine. The library card comes out upside down. The machine looks wounded.

The out of order sign goes up.

The man leaves with a smile on his face.

Sigh.

Things were not going well with Me Too in the toilet training department. Big Sister was finished a week or so after turning two (so she and Me Too wouldn’t both be in diapers.) Me Too is 2 and 4 months.

The magic touch. Dora the Explorer pull-up diapers. Why the sudden change? 

NO PEE PEE ON DORA!

Apparently that’s all the motivation she needed?

Big Sister used the Potty.

Me Too uses the TOY-LET, in a surprisingly good Australian accent… she heard during a playdate.

I have been feeling, tired, stressed out and exhausted.

I have a doctor note saying that I was home yesterday and today.

I’m at the beach. The weather looks great; I hope the wind stops or I won’t be able to stay.

All I can do is sigh with my eyes closed and feel the sun on my face.

When I was a kid, this was one of the following funniest things I knew.

It’s still funny.

For this week is like to rename it “Lump Day”

My mother used to say “Are you just going to sit there all day? Go outside and play with your friends.” It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t a suggestion. I’d put down my book and go outside.

I would like to sit here all day. Instead I’ll have to put my book down and go to work. It’s a shame that cats can’t read. Honey Bunny really *does* lay there all day

I’m a great aunt. I love my nieces. I knew she needed a short nap. We had been playing and running around all morning.

Of course, my sister comes early.

Sister: Why is she on the floor?

Me: I didn’t want to wake her?

We leave the kid on the carpet until she’s finished.

Sometimes I feel this tall.

Sometimes I fee like a shadow of myself.

It’s a question that gets asked at restaurants, when you trip on the curb, when just a little not yourself.

I wish June 6th (if I could find another 6 to insert I would) NOT OK DAY   

This would be a day free of “Fine”, “Good”, “I’m having a great day!”*

Things we would hear on NOT OK DAY…..

• My back hurts;
• My daughter hates me;
• I have a gambling problem;
• My heart is broken;
• I hate my job
• more, more, more….

I understand how polite conversation works, but it would be great to say “I really hate my thighs, and it makes me depressed” and have someone say “I’m losing my hair, so now I’m worried I’ll never get a girlfriend. 

A moment of shared pain/fears/disappointments would remind us that no one’s life is what it seems like.

*Unless you really are having a great day.